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TO WIVES.How much then depends on this step, and what feelings press upon the mind ! The home of childhood, the family circle, the loving mother, the kind father, the affectionate brother and sister, are all to be left, and another is to be your bosom companion ; another to be the sharer of your joys and sorrows, your griefs and cares. New scenes, new duties, new trials, and new circumstances, will surround you, and you are now to act and live for others. Insincerity at the bridal altar is a crime of the blackest character, and he who would be false there would be false anywhere ; and she who would be untrue at such a time would be untrue on every occasion. But where all is sincerity, confidence and love, happiness is then present indeed, and will continue through life. Changes cannot alter their affection for each other, afflictions only bind them closer, cares and anxieties only afford opportunities for the exercise of sympathy, and every year unites them by nearer and dearer ties. Marriage places woman in that sphere where she may attain the greatest happiness, so does it advance her to a station of power and responsibility. Her power over her husband's happiness is almost absolute. By wisdom, by steadiness, by forbearance, by meekness, she may be to him a tower of strength ; but no tongue can tell the ways in which she may annoy him and make him wretched. Then cultivate and exhibit with the greatest care and constancy cheerfulness and good humor ; they give beauty to the finest face and impart charms where charms are not. On the contrary a gloomy, dissatisfied look is an antidote to affection ; and though a man may not seem to notice it, it is chilling and repulsive to his feelings, and he will be very apt to seek elsewhere for those smiles and that cheerfulness which he finds not in his own house. Endeavor to make your husband's habitation alluring and delightful to him. Let it be a sanctuary to which his heart may always turn from the calamities of life. Make it a repose from his care, a shelter from the world, a home not for his person alone but for his heart. He may meet with pleasure in other houses, but let him find pleasure in his own. Should he be dejected, soothe him, should he be silent and thoughtful, do not heedlessly disturb him, should he be studious, favor him with all practicable facilities, or should he be peevish, make allowance for human nature ; and by your sweetness, gentleness and good humor urge him continually to think, though he may not say it, " This woman is indeed a comfort to me ; I can not but love her and requite such gentleness and affection as they deserve." Particularly shun what the world calls " curtain lectures." When you shut your door at night endeavor to shut out at the same moment all discord and contention, and look on your chamber as a retreat from the vexations of the world, a shelter sacred to peace and affection. How indecorous, offensive and sinful it is for a woman to exercise authority over her husband, and say, " I will have it so ; it shall be as I like." But I trust that the number of those who adopt this unbecoming and disgraceful manner is so small as to render it unnecessary for me to enlarge upon the subject. The aim of a wife is to become the friend, the partner, the consolation of her husband, to educate her children, to shun every approach to extravagance. The want of economy has involved millions in misery. The power of a wife for good or evil is altogether irresistible. Home must be the seat of happiness. A good wife is to a man wisdom, and courage, and strength, and hope, and endurance. A bad one, is confusion, weakness, discomfiture and despair. No condition is hopeless when the wife possesses firmness, decision, energy and economy. There is no outward prosperity which can counteract indolence, folly and extravagance at home. No spirit can long resist bad domestic influences. Man is strong, but his heart is not adamant. He delights in enterprise and action, but to sustain him he needs a tranquil mind and a whole heart. He expends his whole moral force in the conflicts with the world. His feelings are daily lacerated to the utmost point of endurance by perpetual collision, irritation and disappointment. To recover his equanimity and composure home must be to him a place of repose, of peace, of cheerfulness, of comfort ; then his soul renews its strength, and again goes forth with fresh vigor to encounter the labor and troubles of the world. But if at home he finds no rest, and there is met with bad temper, sullenness or gloom, or is assailed by discontent, complaint and reproaches, the heart breaks, the spirits are crushed, hope vanishes, and the man sinks into total despair. Every wedded pair might be happy did they bear each other's burdens, and strive with half the zeal they sometimes exert to make each other miserable, to contribute to each other's mutual happiness. We conceive of no more heaven-like circle than is embraced within the limits of a virtuous and happy family. There is nothing beneath the skies more ennobling to human nature than such a household, where mildness and virtue, kindness and love, industry and peace go hand in hand together ; where a contented and cheerful spirit chases away the gloom of the world, and religion with her sweet lessons of philosophy softens and purifies the heart, where the head of the family is recognized and respected as such, and the greatest happiness within the circle is derived from his approving smile ; where the low, sweet voice of woman is seldom heard but in accents of gentleness and love, and the name of mother is never uttered unassociated with some endearing epithet. Such a family can only be collected together under the influence of a happy marriage. A union of hearts as well as hands ; a tie consecrated by pure and chaste affection ; an engagement formed on earth, but sanctioned in heaven. On such a union the angels in the bright abode of the blest must gaze with looks of interest and delight. The gem of all others which enriches the coronet of a woman's character is unaffected piety. Nature may lavish much on her person, the beauty of her countenance, the grace of her mien, the strength of her intellect; yet her loveliness is uncrowned till piety throws around the whole the sweetness and power of its charms. She then becomes unworldly in her desires and aspirations. The spell which bound her affections to things below is broken, and she mounts on the silent wings of faith and hope to the habitations of God, where it is her delight to hold communion with the spirits that have been ransomed from the thraldom of earth and wreathed with garlands of glory. Her beauty may throw a magical charm over princes, and conquerors may bow with admiration at the shrine of her beauty and love ; the sons of science may embalm her memory on the page of history ; yet her piety must be her ornament, her pearl. Her name must be written in the " Book of Life," that when the mountains fade away and every memento of earthly greatness is lost in the general wreck of nature, it may remain and swell the list of that mighty throng who have been clothed in the mantle of righteousness and whose voices are attuned to the melody of heaven. With such a treasure every lofty gratification on earth may be purchased ; friendship will be doubly sweet; pain and sorrow will lose their sting ; and the character will possess a price far above rubies. Life will be but a pleasant visit to earth, and death the entrance upon the joyful and perpetual home. And when the notes of the last trump shall be heard, and sleeping millions awake to judgment, its possessor shall be presented faultless before the throne of God. No man ever prospered in the world without the co-operation of his wife. If she unites in mutual endeavors or rewards his labors with approving smiles, with what confidence will he resort to his merchandise or his farm, fly over lands, sail over seas, meet difficulties and encounter danger, for he knows that he is not spending his strength in vain, but that his labor will be rewarded by the sweets of home. Solicitude and disappointment enter the history of every man's life, and he is but half provided for his voyage who finds but an associate for happy hours, while for his months of darkness and distress he has no sympathizing partner. Two persons who have chosen each other out of all the species with the design to be each other's mutual comfort and entertainment, have in that action bound themselves to be good humoured, affable, discreet, forgiving and patient with respect to each other's frailties and imperfections to the end of their lives. I have often had occasion to remark the fortitude with which women sustain the most overwhelming reverses of fortune. Those disasters which break down the spirit of man and prostrate him in the dust, seem to call forth all the energies of the softer sex and give such intrepidity and elevation to their character that, at times, it approaches to sublimity. Nothing can be more touching than to behold a soft and tender female, who had been all weakness and dependence and alive to every trivial roughness while treading the prosperous paths of life, suddenly rising in mental force to be the comforter and supporter of the husband under misfortune and abiding with unshrinking firmness the bitterest blasts of adversity. With a true wife a husband's faults should be sacred. A woman forgets what is due to herself when she condescends to that refuge of weakness, a " female confidante." A wife's bosom should be the tomb of her husband's failings, and his character far more valuable in her estimation than his life. If this be not the case she pollutes her marriage vow. Such a wife may do much for her partner in life, for her family, for society,for the world: she will be truly blessed in the favor of God, and in death will have an approving conscience-having faithfully discharged her duty. There is nothing under heaven so delicious as the possession of pure, fresh, immutable affection. The most felicitous moment of a man's life, the most ecstatic of all his season of delight, is that in which he receives an avowal of affection from the idol of his heart. The springs of feeling, when in their youthful purity, are fountains of unsealed and gushing tenderness ; the spell that once draws them forth is the mystic light of future years and undying memory. Nothing in life is so pure and devoted as woman's love. It matters not whether it be for a husband, or child, or sister, or brother; it is the same pure, unquenchable flame, the same constant and immaculate glow of feeling, whose undeniable touchstone is trial. Do but give her one token of love, one kind word, one gentle look, even if it be amid desolation and death, the feelings of that faithful heart will gush forth in a torrent-in despite of earthly bond or mercenary tie. More priceless than the gems of Golconda is the female heart: and more devoted than the idolatry of Mecca is woman's love. There is no sordid view or qualifying self-interest in the feeling. It is a principle and characteristic of her nature-a faculty and infatuation which absorbs and concentrates all the fervor of her soul and all the depths of her bosom. I would rather be the idol of one unsullied and unpolluted heart than the monarch of empires. I would rather possess the immaculate and impassioned devotion of one high-souled and enthusiastic female than receive the sycophantic fawning of millions. How sweet is the society of a beloved wife, when wearied and broken with the labors of the day, she comes forth to soothe with her endearments and tender care. The solicitude, the anxieties and the heavier misfortunes of life are hardly to be borne by him who has the weight of business and domestic cares at the same time to bear. But how much lighter do they seem when, his necessary avocations being over, he returns to his home and finds there a partner of his griefs and troubles, who takes for his sake her share of domestic labor and soothes the anguish of his fretted soul. A wife is not, as she is falsely represented and esteemed by some, a burden or a sorrow to man. No! she shares his burdens and alleviates his sorrows; for there is no difficulty so heavy or insupportable in life, but it may be surmounted by the mutual labors and the affectionate concord of that holy partnership. But first, if you want to come back to this web site again, just add it to your bookmarks or favorites now! Then you'll find it easy! Also, please consider sharing our helpful website with your online friends.
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